Since I left Kenmare, N.D., after high school graduation in 1986, I have lived in many places – Nebraska, Minnesota, Kansas and now California. Throughout my journey, I'm often asked, "Where are you from?" Invariably, the response is "North Dakota." I am, and will always be, a true native North Dakotan.

I write with mixed emotions about the state that I still call home after having left almost 20 years ago. In November, citizens of our great state will vote on a ballot issue concerning the "sanctity" of marriage. I challenge each of you to consider this ballot measure very carefully before casting your vote.

Recently, I helped my parents celebrate 40 years of marriage. It is an amazing accomplishment these days to look back on a life filled with that level of commitment, love and caring. My parents are a true example of what marriage can and should be. They are not perfect and would never purport to be; certainly, they've been through times when, in these days, divorce would seem the likely solution. However, they persevered and now have a commitment that is even stronger given the obstacles they've overcome.

During this celebration of 40 years, I was happy for them – but sad for me. In 1990, I told my parents that I am gay. Part of that conversation included my desire to "have what they have." Then, of course, I was simply referring to the loving, committed relationship that exists between them.

During their anniversary celebration, however, I was reminded that I could never have exactly what they have because of the prejudice that exists in our country today. My parents have been a towering example of how I live my life. More than anything, I would like to emulate the relationship that they have and cement my own life with the foundation of marriage.

In November, North Dakotans will cast their votes to decide whether the state Constitution should be amended to exclude same sex partners from realizing the legal benefits obtained through state-sanctioned marriage. If not obvious yet, I am hopeful that you will not cast a vote out of hate and fear, but rather cast one in favor of love and commitment. I want nothing more than to commit my life and be given the same legal recognition as my heterosexual friends.

Is it fair that I could spend my entire life with the same person and not have any rights in making decisions about his last wishes?

Is it fair that my car insurance be 40 percent higher than my married friends even though I've been in a committed relationship (though unmarried) for an equal amount of time? Is it fair that my lifelong partner, upon my death, will incur inheritance taxes that marital partners are exempt from which could, ultimately, leave him homeless if he is unable to pay?

Is it fair that I be denied access to my lifelong partner while he lies in a hospital bed because I am not recognized as next of kin? There are over 1,100 federal benefits of marriage and gay people deserve the same access to those benefits and rights.

Less than 60 years ago, we fought against allowing interracial couples to marry. At that time, the arguments against it were very much the same as the arguments against same sex marriage today. I would challenge all of you to look within yourselves and ask this one question: Will allowing same sex couples to marry truly jeopardize my marriage?

For those of you who know me, I suspect you can appreciate my character and know that I want nothing more than what you have. I value commitment and love and hope that one day, our country will open its arms in love and move past all this fear. Please defeat this mean-spirited ballot measure and let stand the Constitution that has served North Dakota well as currently written.a

Harris, a native of Kenmare, N.D., lives in Oakland, Calif.